I love dinnertime with my sons. It's like dinner with the headlines. I get all the day's major information announced emphatically and with a sense of urgency (remember I have a 4 and an 8 YO).
But, tonight was different. Tonight my boys were surprisingly silent.
I don't know if it was the amazing "breakfast dinner" of blueberry pancakes I whipped up, the fact that my youngest son was getting over a being ill, or that they just FINALLY ran out of stuff to say...hahahaha yeah, right! Either way, it gave me a moment to reflect...and as I sat there staring at them, my babies morphed into adults.
This happened to me before. About two years ago, I was cleaning out the tub about to begin our nighttime bath ritual, and had just finish yelling at my oldest son to hurry and brush his teeth for the hundredth time. Then it hit me. I just yelled at my great-grand kids' grandfather.
What??!!!
Why my mind totally skipped over him being a father I don't know, but I just froze. I was in essence setting a precedent for how my great-grandchildren would be responded to because their parent (my grandchild) raised them the way their parent (my child) raised them...and I almost fainted.
My son, who at that point had finished brushing his teach and had come rushing into the tub so as to not be scolded again, was mighty surprised to have a big bear hug and a thousand kisses waiting for him. Confused, he asked, "Um, aren't I in trouble?"
Fast forward to tonight. I watched my baby (the 4 YO) awkwardly try to cut a large piece of pancake while almost knocking over his milk, and then I turned to watch my 8 YO clumsily pick up his fried egg, try to remove a large piece of pancake from his fork which had connected to his egg (he doesn't like his food to touch) while simultaneously licking the syrup that was beginning to run down his fork and onto his hand, and my heart just swelled with love.
Both boys apparently noticed my loving stare and simultaneously said, "What?!! Why are you smiling at us, mommy?"
I said, "I just love you all. And, I am so proud to be your mommy. I'm just sitting here thinking that you all will be somebody's paw-paw one day. They both again simultaneously said, "Huh? A GRAND-PA?"
I said, "Yeah. One day you'll have grandchildren that I probably won't meet in person, but I'm connecting with now, right here through you."
I smiled knowing they got it and we were having our "mommy moment" because they were just looking and listening. They understood my heartfelt, passionate words of love for them, and I waited for their response.
It went something like this:
"EWWWW! We don't wanna have children!!!" (The 8 YO) "Does that mean I'm gonna have to kiss a girl? Yuck!" (The 4 YO) "What? Kiss a girl?? Gross!! Mommy, do I have to kiss a girl to be a grandpa?"
Well, maybe not...LOL But, I'm so thankful God continuously gives me glimpses of their future. It helps be be patient, keeps me humble, and lets me know I'm touching eternity just by loving my sons.
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