my b'day was july 23rd and i turned 37...yes, i put my age out there into virtual eternity...37! it's funny, but i don't feel as old as that number looks. i really still feel like i'm in my 20's. i was thinking, "do i feel as if i know as much as a 37 year old should know? have i accomplished all that a 37 year old should accomplish?"
i've heard people say that they had to put their life on hold because they had kids. or, kids limit what you can do. but, as i reflected (that's a word, right??) on my life the day before my b'day (as i do every year), i thought about all that i had accomplished before jacob. i mean i taught in three different school districts, i've taught students from all over the world, i have my M.Ed., i've been an administrator, i've been a speaker, i've been published (albeit in "low-scale" magazines), traveled, and had a great life. but, the hardest, most stressful, most rewarding, and definitely the only job i've EVER had that encompassed and developed all aspects of my being has been being a mom. it seems as if i was re-born a third time (2nd time as a christian) as my son was being born. i mean even during the birthing process, i drew upon a reserve of which i had no idea i contained. and, i felt like i was pretty self-actualized.
why do people make light of such an enormous and awesome job that is parenting? my hubby asked me if i'm ever going to stop staring at jacob and saying, "i can't believe he came from me? i can't believe god allowed me to participate in his miracle." hahaha he's 17 mos. now, and i still do it.
really, what did i do to deserve this gift of being the vessel through which this wonderful being would come into the world and who would fill something that was missing from the world? there is something god needs done in this world that only my jacob can do. and, his parents are the ones god has entrusted to prepare him for doing it! i am so glad god will fill in the gaps of our mistakes, and take the good and the bad of jacob's life to be for his glory.
so i look forward to the future and think about how i had 35 years of preparation for my greatest accomplishment to date....my little jacob. what a great birthday indeed!!!
26 July 2007
12 July 2007
Joyful Grapes
i stayed home from work today in order to monitor jacob as he had had an allergic reaction to something (i don't know if it was something he ate or those vaccines pumping through his little veins). anyway, while we're having lunch, we're singing and eating and stuff, but in the back of my mind i'm thinking about what bills are due, how we're going to pay this and that, and the extra income my job now provides coming monthly instead of bi-weekly---then i come out of my "whoaisus" trance to discover my son is having the grandest time with his grapes.
he has no idea of his mommy's internal turmoil, all he knows is that those grapes are good, fun to play with, and fun to stack! hahaha it then dawns on me---AGAIN--that i must be with my father as jacob is with me. i must walk in the confidence of knowing god is taking care of things externally, so i don't have to be discouraged internally...i just need to play with the grapes! :)
here are some pixs of his enjoyment...he's sooo cute!
10 July 2007
ANTS!
we have a major ant problem! i feel like they're ALWAYS crawling on me. and, they aren't the big fire ants that i'm used to, they're the little teeny ones that just show up if there's a crumb or something on the floor.
i used to be so fascinated with ants when i was younger. i have no reason why, but i just liked to watch them. well, my love of ant watching returned as i watched them the other day.
my mom had given me this ant killer solution that has the smell and consistency of syrup, but is deadly! well, i placed some on a little piece of cardboard on the sink in our bathroom, and they did not come immediately, but when they came, MAN! i was amazed at their cooperation to complete a goal. we have jacob's monitor plugged into an outlet above the sink, and sometimes we forget to unplug it after it's gotten some electrical "juice." well those ants were coming from the carpet on the floor into the bathroom in droves, climbing up the cord, eating that stuff, and sort of like giving each other high five in passing while some were going down the cord. and, there was one ant who appeared to be telling everyone where to go get the "good food." he was at the center of the cord and turning around to all the ants moving them forward to the syrup.
fascinating! i even leaned down on the floor to see where they were coming from, but i couldn't tell. it was just a small carpet fiber or something. well, i figured if they were eating that stuff, if i got another small piece of cardboard with the poison on it and placed it next to that one, more would come and more would die. well, when i placed it down, the "director" looked as if he bounced up and down as if to say, "HEY GUYS GET OUTTA THERE! IT'S A HUMAN!" what appeared to be hundreds of ants beautifully aligned in a circle eating off this drop of "syrup poison" quickly dispersed and in sync all ran down the cord! their timing was impeccable, and they never bumped into one another. i started to smash them all on the way down, but i realized the rest of the nest(??)( pile??) wouldn't get the poison, so i let them go.
in watching them, i thought about my pastor who has said "the natural is always a manifestation of the spiritual," and i thought about the spiritual ramifications of what i saw. i thought of I Cor. 10:23 (NIV), "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial-everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive." wasn't that the ants? they happily ran to what they thought was sweet satisfaction (free will/permissible) only to later discover they were actually running TO their demise (not beneficial).
lord bless those who are reading this particular entry. let them not be swift to run to what appears sweet, but let them be guided by you in determining what is beneficial and what is constructive. develop them lord into spiritual warriors and help them to know that anything that is not done for the lord is done in vain (see I Cor. 15:58). in jesus' name i beseech you, amen.
i used to be so fascinated with ants when i was younger. i have no reason why, but i just liked to watch them. well, my love of ant watching returned as i watched them the other day.
my mom had given me this ant killer solution that has the smell and consistency of syrup, but is deadly! well, i placed some on a little piece of cardboard on the sink in our bathroom, and they did not come immediately, but when they came, MAN! i was amazed at their cooperation to complete a goal. we have jacob's monitor plugged into an outlet above the sink, and sometimes we forget to unplug it after it's gotten some electrical "juice." well those ants were coming from the carpet on the floor into the bathroom in droves, climbing up the cord, eating that stuff, and sort of like giving each other high five in passing while some were going down the cord. and, there was one ant who appeared to be telling everyone where to go get the "good food." he was at the center of the cord and turning around to all the ants moving them forward to the syrup.
fascinating! i even leaned down on the floor to see where they were coming from, but i couldn't tell. it was just a small carpet fiber or something. well, i figured if they were eating that stuff, if i got another small piece of cardboard with the poison on it and placed it next to that one, more would come and more would die. well, when i placed it down, the "director" looked as if he bounced up and down as if to say, "HEY GUYS GET OUTTA THERE! IT'S A HUMAN!" what appeared to be hundreds of ants beautifully aligned in a circle eating off this drop of "syrup poison" quickly dispersed and in sync all ran down the cord! their timing was impeccable, and they never bumped into one another. i started to smash them all on the way down, but i realized the rest of the nest(??)( pile??) wouldn't get the poison, so i let them go.
in watching them, i thought about my pastor who has said "the natural is always a manifestation of the spiritual," and i thought about the spiritual ramifications of what i saw. i thought of I Cor. 10:23 (NIV), "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial-everything is permissible, but not everything is constructive." wasn't that the ants? they happily ran to what they thought was sweet satisfaction (free will/permissible) only to later discover they were actually running TO their demise (not beneficial).
lord bless those who are reading this particular entry. let them not be swift to run to what appears sweet, but let them be guided by you in determining what is beneficial and what is constructive. develop them lord into spiritual warriors and help them to know that anything that is not done for the lord is done in vain (see I Cor. 15:58). in jesus' name i beseech you, amen.
Bragging about my nephew!
we are sooo proud of my nephew. he's received a full scholarship to the school of his choice, and he's discovered he'll be entering as a SECOND SEMESTER SOPHOMORE when school starts. he was taking college prepatory courses called "advanced placement (AP) courses." upon completing the coursework in the program, students are able to take the national exam in varied subjects. colleges view the scores, and most will accept a score of "3" (out of 5) from a student to allow him/her to be exempt from having to take that course in college .
hahaha wasn't he adorable?!! i'll have to upload a recent one from my camera (which i don't feel like doing right now), and i'll post it next to this one...so keep checking back (oh, he's the one on the left looking at the camera).
dear lord, bless your son who you formed in his mother's womb to stay christ-centered in a self-centered world. guide his thoughts, actions, and deeds in the direction which gives you glory in an environment where youth often seek to glorify themselves through their pleasures. protect his heart and his mind as we send him off to put into practice those virtues his family has instilled in him. let him never grow weary in being a leader, seeking your will, and following your word. i pray this in your son jesus' name. amen.
it has surprised me how few people know about AP courses. go to collegeboard.com to find out more. it is a national program.
okay, back to my nephew. well, he scored pretty much 4's on all his tests with a few 5's. he took AP History, Calculus, English, Chemistry, and a few more...but he has earned 53 credit hours! isn't that amazing?!! not only does that save the families money, but the students also get to graduate early. i wish i had taken AP courses seriously when i was in high school. i took AP English and AP Biology in high school, which i tested out of for college...i should have taken more...
here's a pix of my nephew. i'm not ready to put his name out into cyberspace, but once he graduates, you'll know who he is...he's a musician.
hahaha wasn't he adorable?!! i'll have to upload a recent one from my camera (which i don't feel like doing right now), and i'll post it next to this one...so keep checking back (oh, he's the one on the left looking at the camera).
dear lord, bless your son who you formed in his mother's womb to stay christ-centered in a self-centered world. guide his thoughts, actions, and deeds in the direction which gives you glory in an environment where youth often seek to glorify themselves through their pleasures. protect his heart and his mind as we send him off to put into practice those virtues his family has instilled in him. let him never grow weary in being a leader, seeking your will, and following your word. i pray this in your son jesus' name. amen.
06 July 2007
Jacob's shots...cont.
okay, all is well. jacob has not had a reaction to the shots other than dragging his little leg. he is sleeping with us because of course i need to keep a watchful eye over him. i'm still tormented by seeing those long needles rammed into my baby's legs. evidenced by my poem...or maybe not :)...i was a little ticked off.
my mom was with me, and she stated they go fast so as to not prolong the pain, but the last nurse i had went just as quickly, but did it with a little more compassion. i forgot to look at the needles to make sure she was giving him the right thing. i guess she knew what she was doing. he just looked so pitiful. he was okay with the first one, then BAM! BAM! came the other two.
he's a trooper though. he only cried a little bit, and then whimpered. i pressed on his shots, applied ice (as much as he would let me), gave him some apple juice, and he was fine ( my book What your doctor may NOT tell you about vaccines stated it's good to give juice before and after the DTaP shot to maintain sugar levels...or something like that...also, check out the entry on "immunizations" to see how to boost your child's immune system before and after the shots).
i've memorized every inch of his little body, so i'll be keeping a VERY watchful eye over any adverse reactions to these 5 things that have been pumped into my little one (DTaP, HIB, IPV). SIGH! i guess i should go to bed now as i have to get up in a few hours (went early, then woke up and couldn't sleep).
my mom was with me, and she stated they go fast so as to not prolong the pain, but the last nurse i had went just as quickly, but did it with a little more compassion. i forgot to look at the needles to make sure she was giving him the right thing. i guess she knew what she was doing. he just looked so pitiful. he was okay with the first one, then BAM! BAM! came the other two.
he's a trooper though. he only cried a little bit, and then whimpered. i pressed on his shots, applied ice (as much as he would let me), gave him some apple juice, and he was fine ( my book What your doctor may NOT tell you about vaccines stated it's good to give juice before and after the DTaP shot to maintain sugar levels...or something like that...also, check out the entry on "immunizations" to see how to boost your child's immune system before and after the shots).
i've memorized every inch of his little body, so i'll be keeping a VERY watchful eye over any adverse reactions to these 5 things that have been pumped into my little one (DTaP, HIB, IPV). SIGH! i guess i should go to bed now as i have to get up in a few hours (went early, then woke up and couldn't sleep).
05 July 2007
Jacob shots...
Jacob got his shots today...
it hurt my heart to see it.
and try as i might, i can't lose the sight
of his thigh engulfing the needle.
oh, that i could for just that moment take my baby's place
and be him!
i wanted to slap the administering nurse who rushed my baby's shots,
saying they needed the room.
but i kept my cool, silenced my curse,
and just held my precious one--praying that eternal moment would end very soon!
i'll write more later...my little one needs to be held...
it hurt my heart to see it.
and try as i might, i can't lose the sight
of his thigh engulfing the needle.
oh, that i could for just that moment take my baby's place
and be him!
i wanted to slap the administering nurse who rushed my baby's shots,
saying they needed the room.
but i kept my cool, silenced my curse,
and just held my precious one--praying that eternal moment would end very soon!
i'll write more later...my little one needs to be held...
02 July 2007
Jacob in the rain...
lou took jacob out into the rain. since he LOVES water, lou thought he wouldn't be too afraid of the storm (once again, something i would NEVER do cuz of pneumonia and stuff :) ). he had a ball! here are a few shots of the memorable moment...
01 July 2007
Sperm donors
so much for posting 2-3x a week... this has been such a busy week. it is such a challenge for me in my new role of "working mother." maybe it would have been easier just being thrust into working after being with the baby a short time, but i've been at home with jacob for roughtly 13 months (i went back for 2 months after my 6 wk. span). i don't want to do anything after work but get home to him. then, after dinner, playtime, and bathtime there's not too much time left before bedtime. (SIGH)
okay, here is a topic i wanted to put out there. lou and i were watching 60 minutes last week, and they were talking about the children of sperm donors now wanting to locate their biological fathers--or the sperm donors. these women happened to strike up a conversation in the park or something about their kids' father, and they discovered they had the same sperm donor, so their children were half brother and sister. also, they soon discovered their children had another sibling. now, they have "family" get-togethers and stuff so the children can bond.
well, they all tracked down the father, and he is a young doctor who was recently married and has a baby on the way. for $50 a donation, he believed all were benefiting. him, because he needed the money, and the ladies who received his sperm because they wanted a child. he even continued to donate after he was married. now, the kicker is, that he doesn't consider the children created from his sperm his children, but he is willing to meet them. he could in actuality have over 100 children because of the amount of sperm he's donated over the years.
these stories are SOOO bizarre to me. what has become of the family? this man has all these chldren, yet he does not believe they are REALLY his because he "just gave some sperm." lou and i were discussing if this could be considered "spilling your sperm" [see Gen. 38:10] which god was not pleased with. how dare this man think ejaculating into a cup and walking away with $5o absolves him of his parental duty!!! how dare society allow him (and the many others who are doing this also--as well as the women who are participating) to!
okay, here is a topic i wanted to put out there. lou and i were watching 60 minutes last week, and they were talking about the children of sperm donors now wanting to locate their biological fathers--or the sperm donors. these women happened to strike up a conversation in the park or something about their kids' father, and they discovered they had the same sperm donor, so their children were half brother and sister. also, they soon discovered their children had another sibling. now, they have "family" get-togethers and stuff so the children can bond.
well, they all tracked down the father, and he is a young doctor who was recently married and has a baby on the way. for $50 a donation, he believed all were benefiting. him, because he needed the money, and the ladies who received his sperm because they wanted a child. he even continued to donate after he was married. now, the kicker is, that he doesn't consider the children created from his sperm his children, but he is willing to meet them. he could in actuality have over 100 children because of the amount of sperm he's donated over the years.
these stories are SOOO bizarre to me. what has become of the family? this man has all these chldren, yet he does not believe they are REALLY his because he "just gave some sperm." lou and i were discussing if this could be considered "spilling your sperm" [see Gen. 38:10] which god was not pleased with. how dare this man think ejaculating into a cup and walking away with $5o absolves him of his parental duty!!! how dare society allow him (and the many others who are doing this also--as well as the women who are participating) to!
19 June 2007
Just thinkin' about mommiehood...
i wanted to write this down so i wouldn't forget it...
sunday, BEFORE i heard the great sermon i mentioned in my previous blog, lou and i dropped jacob off in children's church. i had such anxiety about how he would be because he was sleepy, and when i left him for the first time during vacation bible school, he was such a trooper (even though he was sleepy), but BAWLLLLLED as soon as he saw me. it was sweet/sad. he was relieved, tired, and happy all at once, but his only known way to process it all was to cry. so i held him and rocked him as he did the loud, deep, short-gasped, gutteral cry, and then he was fine.
anyway, there was a little boy there who screamed bloody murder the whole time we were dropping jacob off. i kinda consoled him and wiped his nose, but he was SOOOO upset. well, they take that age group around on the cutest little buggy, and jacob was placed next to the little boy who was just so upset. jacob gave the lady over the children a priceless look of "why am i next to him? don't you hear him screaming?"
well, lou and i started to leave in order to get jacob in the computer, and they began pushing the little buggy thingamajig. well, jacob thought we were gone, so he was fine sitting next to the "crier" until he looked over and saw us. then he looked at the little boy and started bawling too. knowing he was sleepy, and kinda not really wanting to leave him i started toward him, but all the ladies there (and lou) were telling me to "go on he's fine. just go on!" lou grabbed me, said let's go enjoy the service and we left (with me constantly looking back...hahahah and everytime i looked back the ladies working would wave me on hahahaha) i felt a LITTLE better because i saw them move jacob away from the "crier."
well, i could not have peace in the sanctuary until i checked on jacob. i was praying during "praise and worship" saying, "lord it's all about you. give me peace. this is your time." but, i could not rest until i laid eyes on him to see that he was okay.
on the way there, i stopped in the restroom. i casually mentioned my feelings to a woman in the restroom, and she also tried to convince me to go back to the sanctuary. she told me to trust god, and trust those he's placed in that position. i realized as she was talking that i always have to do what's best for my child regardless of what others think i should do. and, if i wanna go, i'm gonna go! she then started telling me to also put my husband first before the baby because he has needs to. now, don't get me wrong some of her points were very valid, but i only began to hear "wuh, wuh, wuh wuh, wuh (think charlie brown)." she began telling me something else, but i just said, "thank you. keep me in your prayers, but i gotta go."
anyway, when i got there, the kids were still on their buggy ride, and i talked to the nicest women in the children's church. they were such a relief because they allowed me to confirm my fears instead of condemning me for them. how many of us have tried to offer advice, albeit valid, without recognizing that the other person's feelings were valid to them??! how "job's friends" of us (read the story of job)!
i told one of the ladies how jacob began to cry because of the other little boy and she just said, "oh, that means he has your heart." how could she know me? how could she know how sensitive i am within my bold exterior? how could she know my heart? i got teary-eyed right there! she then told me not to feel bad about how i was feeling. all first time mothers experience what i'm feeling. i discovered she had birthed two sets of twins and a single (as she called it) :). she then told me one of her twins died at 18 mos. (the boy), and she clung to the girl. she said if her daughter even tried to slip, she was there to catch her BEFORE she stumbled. but, she made herself put her little girl in daycare so her child could grow. she said, "remember in the midst of your fears, god's got your child...wherever he is."
wasn't that sweet? she didn't look a day over 45 and had 19 grandchildren to boot. she then told me than when the buggy came, i needed only to look at jacob, but make sure he didn't see me (which was my plan all along. I just needed to see HIM, i didn't need him to see me). needless to say, he was fine. one of the ladies was holding him (while the other little boy was still bawling...which showed me once again how people are drawn to jacob...but that's another story)
on my way out, another lady said, "girl, you're better than me. my daughter didn't go to children's church until she was 3!" hahahaha
i left and was blessed even more by the sermon.
sunday, BEFORE i heard the great sermon i mentioned in my previous blog, lou and i dropped jacob off in children's church. i had such anxiety about how he would be because he was sleepy, and when i left him for the first time during vacation bible school, he was such a trooper (even though he was sleepy), but BAWLLLLLED as soon as he saw me. it was sweet/sad. he was relieved, tired, and happy all at once, but his only known way to process it all was to cry. so i held him and rocked him as he did the loud, deep, short-gasped, gutteral cry, and then he was fine.
anyway, there was a little boy there who screamed bloody murder the whole time we were dropping jacob off. i kinda consoled him and wiped his nose, but he was SOOOO upset. well, they take that age group around on the cutest little buggy, and jacob was placed next to the little boy who was just so upset. jacob gave the lady over the children a priceless look of "why am i next to him? don't you hear him screaming?"
well, lou and i started to leave in order to get jacob in the computer, and they began pushing the little buggy thingamajig. well, jacob thought we were gone, so he was fine sitting next to the "crier" until he looked over and saw us. then he looked at the little boy and started bawling too. knowing he was sleepy, and kinda not really wanting to leave him i started toward him, but all the ladies there (and lou) were telling me to "go on he's fine. just go on!" lou grabbed me, said let's go enjoy the service and we left (with me constantly looking back...hahahah and everytime i looked back the ladies working would wave me on hahahaha) i felt a LITTLE better because i saw them move jacob away from the "crier."
well, i could not have peace in the sanctuary until i checked on jacob. i was praying during "praise and worship" saying, "lord it's all about you. give me peace. this is your time." but, i could not rest until i laid eyes on him to see that he was okay.
on the way there, i stopped in the restroom. i casually mentioned my feelings to a woman in the restroom, and she also tried to convince me to go back to the sanctuary. she told me to trust god, and trust those he's placed in that position. i realized as she was talking that i always have to do what's best for my child regardless of what others think i should do. and, if i wanna go, i'm gonna go! she then started telling me to also put my husband first before the baby because he has needs to. now, don't get me wrong some of her points were very valid, but i only began to hear "wuh, wuh, wuh wuh, wuh (think charlie brown)." she began telling me something else, but i just said, "thank you. keep me in your prayers, but i gotta go."
anyway, when i got there, the kids were still on their buggy ride, and i talked to the nicest women in the children's church. they were such a relief because they allowed me to confirm my fears instead of condemning me for them. how many of us have tried to offer advice, albeit valid, without recognizing that the other person's feelings were valid to them??! how "job's friends" of us (read the story of job)!
i told one of the ladies how jacob began to cry because of the other little boy and she just said, "oh, that means he has your heart." how could she know me? how could she know how sensitive i am within my bold exterior? how could she know my heart? i got teary-eyed right there! she then told me not to feel bad about how i was feeling. all first time mothers experience what i'm feeling. i discovered she had birthed two sets of twins and a single (as she called it) :). she then told me one of her twins died at 18 mos. (the boy), and she clung to the girl. she said if her daughter even tried to slip, she was there to catch her BEFORE she stumbled. but, she made herself put her little girl in daycare so her child could grow. she said, "remember in the midst of your fears, god's got your child...wherever he is."
wasn't that sweet? she didn't look a day over 45 and had 19 grandchildren to boot. she then told me than when the buggy came, i needed only to look at jacob, but make sure he didn't see me (which was my plan all along. I just needed to see HIM, i didn't need him to see me). needless to say, he was fine. one of the ladies was holding him (while the other little boy was still bawling...which showed me once again how people are drawn to jacob...but that's another story)
on my way out, another lady said, "girl, you're better than me. my daughter didn't go to children's church until she was 3!" hahahaha
i left and was blessed even more by the sermon.
My sister has moved to Spain...
my sister and her family moved to spain. since living there in college, she has always had a desire to live there again. so, her hubby acquiesced (and his job blessedly transferred him), and they arrived early this morning. her children will now be multilingual...they already know dutch and english. isn't that great?
i am so thankful for modern technology! we can stay updated with emails, blogs, and cell phones. i was telling my nephew (my other sister's son) who is going to college how good he has it. he can register online. i, on the other hand, had to stand in long lines in our coliseum for HOURS hoping to get a class. and, not even being certain i could get the one i wanted until i reached the front of the long line. we didn't have "online" we were "in line."...okay that was corny. hahaha i didn't say that to him, i just thought of it right now and thought it was pretty clever--until i actually saw it in print. hahahahaha
okay, back to spain...i can't wait to visit. i need to brush up on my spanish. my brother-in-laws parents are SOOO excited they will be there. they are belgian, and it's only a two hour flight as opposed to coming to the states 2-3x a year. so, when i try to feel sad about them being gone, i think about the joy his parents are feeling. here are some pixs of them eating icecream when they were here last month:
i am so thankful for modern technology! we can stay updated with emails, blogs, and cell phones. i was telling my nephew (my other sister's son) who is going to college how good he has it. he can register online. i, on the other hand, had to stand in long lines in our coliseum for HOURS hoping to get a class. and, not even being certain i could get the one i wanted until i reached the front of the long line. we didn't have "online" we were "in line."...okay that was corny. hahaha i didn't say that to him, i just thought of it right now and thought it was pretty clever--until i actually saw it in print. hahahahaha
okay, back to spain...i can't wait to visit. i need to brush up on my spanish. my brother-in-laws parents are SOOO excited they will be there. they are belgian, and it's only a two hour flight as opposed to coming to the states 2-3x a year. so, when i try to feel sad about them being gone, i think about the joy his parents are feeling. here are some pixs of them eating icecream when they were here last month:
18 June 2007
Biblical manhood...
been thinkin' about pastor's sermon on sunday (dr. tony evans). he took it from genesis 32:24-32, the story of jacob and his wrestling with the angel. there was so much to the sermon, but here are a few points that resonated with me...
in jacob's old age, he blessed joseph's sons, and he asked to be buried with leah...
jacob loved rachel early on, yet at the end of his life asked to be buried with leah.
why? because at the end of his life he discoverd god's divine order of things, and not his fleshly desires. significance? leah was the mother of judah, from whom would come david, from whose line would come the christ.
also,
blessing vs. curse
blessing = a transference of divine favor (or the favor of god and his authority for the future = god's blessing)
curse = pain of not experiencing your divinely ordained reason for being.
many men are not walking in the blessing of god. when you accept christ you are blessed, however, unless you recognize and walk in god's authority, you are not in a position to receive your blessings. he said, this is not a cursed generation we are seeing, what we are witnessing today is the PRODUCT of a lost generation where men were not walking in their divine calling as men.
a BIBLICAL man = a male who has learned to function under the authority of god or divine authority...if you are not functioning under the divine authority of god, you're functioning under a curse. now, you may be blessed, but you are FUNCTIONING under a curse. a blessing always involved authority, and it always related to the future or where god was taking someone...hence god's being the god of abraham, isaac, and jacob.
the bible says the role of a man is to look after the future; a righteous man is one who looks after his children and his children's children (or g.children)...jacob was the son of isaac, who was the son of abraham.
he discussed jacob's wrestling with the angel and the angel changing jacob's name to israel (jacob means "trickster or deceiver" whereas israel means "one who struggles with god (i think)." in vs. 27 the angel asked jacob his name (trickster) and the angel then told him his new name. BUT jacob also asked the angel his name vs. 29 and the angel said "why is it that you ask my name?"---in other words, you know who i am in knowing who you are (remember, israel means one who struggles with GOD or "who did you just struggle with?")---many men do not know who they are and therefore cannot relay to the generations in the future who they are/need to be.
i am SOOOO not doing the sermon justice, but it was deep and thought provoking. contact my church (www.ocbfchurch.org) or call 972.228.1281 to order the dvd. it's worth it.
"lord, please bless our men to walk in authority under you that their children and their chidren's children will understand their identity, and that their sons will know how to lead their families, and their daughters will choose godly men to lead thier families. bless all who read this blog and guide them to a deeper understanding of you and know you as you TRULY are, and not who they perceive you to be. let your holy spirit direct my words and give you the glory in all that i say, for it is for you and through you that i live. in jesus' name i pray."
in jacob's old age, he blessed joseph's sons, and he asked to be buried with leah...
jacob loved rachel early on, yet at the end of his life asked to be buried with leah.
why? because at the end of his life he discoverd god's divine order of things, and not his fleshly desires. significance? leah was the mother of judah, from whom would come david, from whose line would come the christ.
also,
blessing vs. curse
blessing = a transference of divine favor (or the favor of god and his authority for the future = god's blessing)
curse = pain of not experiencing your divinely ordained reason for being.
many men are not walking in the blessing of god. when you accept christ you are blessed, however, unless you recognize and walk in god's authority, you are not in a position to receive your blessings. he said, this is not a cursed generation we are seeing, what we are witnessing today is the PRODUCT of a lost generation where men were not walking in their divine calling as men.
a BIBLICAL man = a male who has learned to function under the authority of god or divine authority...if you are not functioning under the divine authority of god, you're functioning under a curse. now, you may be blessed, but you are FUNCTIONING under a curse. a blessing always involved authority, and it always related to the future or where god was taking someone...hence god's being the god of abraham, isaac, and jacob.
the bible says the role of a man is to look after the future; a righteous man is one who looks after his children and his children's children (or g.children)...jacob was the son of isaac, who was the son of abraham.
he discussed jacob's wrestling with the angel and the angel changing jacob's name to israel (jacob means "trickster or deceiver" whereas israel means "one who struggles with god (i think)." in vs. 27 the angel asked jacob his name (trickster) and the angel then told him his new name. BUT jacob also asked the angel his name vs. 29 and the angel said "why is it that you ask my name?"---in other words, you know who i am in knowing who you are (remember, israel means one who struggles with GOD or "who did you just struggle with?")---many men do not know who they are and therefore cannot relay to the generations in the future who they are/need to be.
i am SOOOO not doing the sermon justice, but it was deep and thought provoking. contact my church (www.ocbfchurch.org) or call 972.228.1281 to order the dvd. it's worth it.
"lord, please bless our men to walk in authority under you that their children and their chidren's children will understand their identity, and that their sons will know how to lead their families, and their daughters will choose godly men to lead thier families. bless all who read this blog and guide them to a deeper understanding of you and know you as you TRULY are, and not who they perceive you to be. let your holy spirit direct my words and give you the glory in all that i say, for it is for you and through you that i live. in jesus' name i pray."
My sweet baby...
lou let jacob experience the whirlpool the other day, and it was adorable. husbands are so good. they do such daring things with children that moms would never do, and the kids love it! i have never even considered turning on the jets with jacob...because of course children can drown in just an inch of water!
anyway, i wanted to post one of the more adorable shots of this first experience:
I was almost robbed the other day...
i just thank god for his abundant mercies...
several months ago, i saw on the news a new type of robbery that is spreading. it's where the thieves will drive up to cars as a person is pumping gas, open their car door, steal their belongings, and drive away...all unbeknownst to the person pumping gas. the woman interviewed said she didn't see anything happen and would have had no clue as to how her purse was stolen had it not been for the surveillance tape.
anyway, i locked my doors while i pumped gas most of the time before having seen this, but after this i ALWAYS locked my doors while pumping gas. and, i'm glad i did. i was at the pump, and yes, my purse was open and on the front seat. well, i just happened to look over at my passenger's window (it was at night...and my windows are tinted), and this guy was looking down at my purse, then he looked up at me looking at him, looked down at my purse again and just got in his car and slowly drove away.
initially, i was glaring at him, like "I SEE YOU FOOL!" and i watched him as he drove away. but then, i kind of shuddered because I could still see his eyes, and he could have had a gun and jacked me. plus, i shivered at the thought of "what if the baby was with me? (which he wasn't)"
well, the story continues...when i finished pumping my gas, i saw the car slowly drive out of the gas station and he was in front of me. so, i made a mental note of his license plates, but before i called 911, i wanted to be sure that was really him. so, i got in the lane next to him, and just sort of glanced at him so as to not arouse suspicion. he was on the phone, and looked over at me...and i knew those eyes. so, this idiot slowly pulls into another gas station to do it again! needless to say, i called 911 described his car, gave the plates, and told them what was up. they said they would send someone out, but i don't know what came of it.
life is so fleeting. this ending could have been so different...thank you lord!
several months ago, i saw on the news a new type of robbery that is spreading. it's where the thieves will drive up to cars as a person is pumping gas, open their car door, steal their belongings, and drive away...all unbeknownst to the person pumping gas. the woman interviewed said she didn't see anything happen and would have had no clue as to how her purse was stolen had it not been for the surveillance tape.
anyway, i locked my doors while i pumped gas most of the time before having seen this, but after this i ALWAYS locked my doors while pumping gas. and, i'm glad i did. i was at the pump, and yes, my purse was open and on the front seat. well, i just happened to look over at my passenger's window (it was at night...and my windows are tinted), and this guy was looking down at my purse, then he looked up at me looking at him, looked down at my purse again and just got in his car and slowly drove away.
initially, i was glaring at him, like "I SEE YOU FOOL!" and i watched him as he drove away. but then, i kind of shuddered because I could still see his eyes, and he could have had a gun and jacked me. plus, i shivered at the thought of "what if the baby was with me? (which he wasn't)"
well, the story continues...when i finished pumping my gas, i saw the car slowly drive out of the gas station and he was in front of me. so, i made a mental note of his license plates, but before i called 911, i wanted to be sure that was really him. so, i got in the lane next to him, and just sort of glanced at him so as to not arouse suspicion. he was on the phone, and looked over at me...and i knew those eyes. so, this idiot slowly pulls into another gas station to do it again! needless to say, i called 911 described his car, gave the plates, and told them what was up. they said they would send someone out, but i don't know what came of it.
life is so fleeting. this ending could have been so different...thank you lord!
13 June 2007
Personal Policies
okay, last post for the night...
my friend chrystal (see her link to the right) challenged us to examine our personal policies which she got from her friend Rachel. anyway, i thought it would be fun to examine my personal policies...these may be embarrasing cuz i have SO many issues...oops, i mean policies.
let me know yours as well...
1. NEVER wipe your hands on my towel. i don't care if you did just wash your hands.
2. I always have to shower in the morning. it wakes me up (even if i took a shower/bath that night).
3. Please do not poke me to get my attention, just call my name.
4. Do not walk on my bathroom rugs in your shoes.
5. I have to drink orange juice with my oatmeal. they just seem to go together.
6. DO NOT TOUCH MY CHILD'S HANDS!
7. I always wash the silverware and cups first, then the plates/bowls, and the pots are last if i wash by hand. Please don't put anything in the water. you don't know what order i'm in.
8. if i'm driving, I CHOOSE THE STATION!...well, unless i like the song that's on that you changed it to.
9. DON'T EVER USE MY TOOTHBRUSH! EVER!
10. I'm brand loyal to Tide, Colgate, Dove soap, and Ivory liquid. if you see something else in my house, it's because i didn't do the shopping...or the store was out and i needed it RIGHT then.
11. I love to cuddle. I like warm bodies.
12. If someone leaves my house, i have to watch them leave until i can't see them anymore (when i was little i used to wave the whole time, so i've progressed).
13. I eat ice...a lot. don't tell me i have to stop because it MAY crack my teeth (Mr. Dentist!).
14. I only drink after the one i kiss, and he knows to watch the backwash if he drinks something of mine.
15. Don't even think about eating off my plate, and i only do it to the one i kiss.
16. I hate to run out of stuff, so I will get it weeks before I need it.
17. You must NEVER smack around me. Why would you need to chew with your mouth open?
18. Repetitive noises irk me (like finger/pen tapping).
19. Who came up with eating popcorn in the movie theater (see #17 and #18)?
20. I like even numbers, like I had to add this line because I didn't want to stop on 19. hahaha
i've heard it said that "be careful what you tell, cuz what you tell, tells on you." what did i just reveal? :)
my friend chrystal (see her link to the right) challenged us to examine our personal policies which she got from her friend Rachel. anyway, i thought it would be fun to examine my personal policies...these may be embarrasing cuz i have SO many issues...oops, i mean policies.
let me know yours as well...
1. NEVER wipe your hands on my towel. i don't care if you did just wash your hands.
2. I always have to shower in the morning. it wakes me up (even if i took a shower/bath that night).
3. Please do not poke me to get my attention, just call my name.
4. Do not walk on my bathroom rugs in your shoes.
5. I have to drink orange juice with my oatmeal. they just seem to go together.
6. DO NOT TOUCH MY CHILD'S HANDS!
7. I always wash the silverware and cups first, then the plates/bowls, and the pots are last if i wash by hand. Please don't put anything in the water. you don't know what order i'm in.
8. if i'm driving, I CHOOSE THE STATION!...well, unless i like the song that's on that you changed it to.
9. DON'T EVER USE MY TOOTHBRUSH! EVER!
10. I'm brand loyal to Tide, Colgate, Dove soap, and Ivory liquid. if you see something else in my house, it's because i didn't do the shopping...or the store was out and i needed it RIGHT then.
11. I love to cuddle. I like warm bodies.
12. If someone leaves my house, i have to watch them leave until i can't see them anymore (when i was little i used to wave the whole time, so i've progressed).
13. I eat ice...a lot. don't tell me i have to stop because it MAY crack my teeth (Mr. Dentist!).
14. I only drink after the one i kiss, and he knows to watch the backwash if he drinks something of mine.
15. Don't even think about eating off my plate, and i only do it to the one i kiss.
16. I hate to run out of stuff, so I will get it weeks before I need it.
17. You must NEVER smack around me. Why would you need to chew with your mouth open?
18. Repetitive noises irk me (like finger/pen tapping).
19. Who came up with eating popcorn in the movie theater (see #17 and #18)?
20. I like even numbers, like I had to add this line because I didn't want to stop on 19. hahaha
i've heard it said that "be careful what you tell, cuz what you tell, tells on you." what did i just reveal? :)
Immunization
okay, this post is totally for me, but if it helps someone...okay.
my sister has to tell me this all the time, so i wanted to get it immortalized, so as to not have to bother her with it again (per her request...hahaha)
okay,
the 7 day process:
3 days before immunization:
Vitamin C (300 mg); 1 ml Echinacea (3X a day)
The day before:
Add 1 drop of Vitamin A to Vit. C and Echinacea
day of:
do all three
day after:
do all three
next 2 days:
only do Vitamin C and Echinacea
***if you use this, do according to age...i did less for his 6 months shot [i have vaccines issues, so that was the first time he got any]. he's 15 mos. now***
Normally give 100 mg of Vitamin C a day
my sister has to tell me this all the time, so i wanted to get it immortalized, so as to not have to bother her with it again (per her request...hahaha)
okay,
the 7 day process:
3 days before immunization:
Vitamin C (300 mg); 1 ml Echinacea (3X a day)
The day before:
Add 1 drop of Vitamin A to Vit. C and Echinacea
day of:
do all three
day after:
do all three
next 2 days:
only do Vitamin C and Echinacea
***if you use this, do according to age...i did less for his 6 months shot [i have vaccines issues, so that was the first time he got any]. he's 15 mos. now***
Normally give 100 mg of Vitamin C a day
Back to work I go...
well, i am no longer a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom). i started my new job today. i feel SOOOOO blessed to have been able to stay at home for 15 months with my son. god could not have made my transition any sweeter than this morning.
jacob woke up exceptionally early (like he knew we would both be gone). lou got up with him and tried to put him back to sleep, but to no avail. so we all were up at 5:30 a.m. so, lou stayed awake with him and fed him breakfast and they hung out for a while while i got my last hour of sleep. when i got up, lou was on his way out to work and jacob and i played together, and i felt like i HAD to be the one to get him dressed and ready for the day like always. so we snuggled after he got dressed. then he fell asleep in my arms. i put him down, kissed him, and finished getting ready for work. my mom got here needing to do nothing but relax and wait for him to get up and the action to begin. hahahaha
i was so worried about how i would handle leaving him. but, this was a sweet transition. and he had a blast with "gammie." she said he did not miss a beat with my being gone, and i had no heart tugs throughout the day with leaving him (although two days prior i cried myself [and lou] to sleep about having to leave him). everytime i called to check on him he was just having so much fun in the background.
when i got home he was still having a good time with my mom and my nephew, and it just felt wonderful to feel his little body wrapped around me when i picked him up.
what was life before jacob???
jacob woke up exceptionally early (like he knew we would both be gone). lou got up with him and tried to put him back to sleep, but to no avail. so we all were up at 5:30 a.m. so, lou stayed awake with him and fed him breakfast and they hung out for a while while i got my last hour of sleep. when i got up, lou was on his way out to work and jacob and i played together, and i felt like i HAD to be the one to get him dressed and ready for the day like always. so we snuggled after he got dressed. then he fell asleep in my arms. i put him down, kissed him, and finished getting ready for work. my mom got here needing to do nothing but relax and wait for him to get up and the action to begin. hahahaha
i was so worried about how i would handle leaving him. but, this was a sweet transition. and he had a blast with "gammie." she said he did not miss a beat with my being gone, and i had no heart tugs throughout the day with leaving him (although two days prior i cried myself [and lou] to sleep about having to leave him). everytime i called to check on him he was just having so much fun in the background.
when i got home he was still having a good time with my mom and my nephew, and it just felt wonderful to feel his little body wrapped around me when i picked him up.
what was life before jacob???
12 June 2007
you know, on second thought, i will be typing in lower case like i do in emails. it's faster, and i'm used to it...SO DEAL WITH IT!!
having said that...i just wanted to introduce you all to the love of my life and my husband...just kidding. the love of my life and my son, since i'll be talking about them frequently. here's one of my favorite pixs of them sleeping:
ain't it adorable? both of them were snoring.
having said that...i just wanted to introduce you all to the love of my life and my husband...just kidding. the love of my life and my son, since i'll be talking about them frequently. here's one of my favorite pixs of them sleeping:
ain't it adorable? both of them were snoring.
I graduated 20 years ago!!
My classmates and I celebrate our 20 year reunion this year. It seems odd that I graduated from high school 20 years ago. It baffles me at times that I'm actually a "grown-up." :)
We had a nice "get-together" on Saturday. My friend Kenneth arranged it because he wanted something on the actual day, June 9th, that we graduated. Everyone who showed up, it seemed, went back into our high school mode of innocence before life got in the way. It was so refreshing to be around people who, as my friend Carla described it, just "got me."--no pretenses--no titles---no issues...just me. It was great! Lou (my hubby) told me he could tell we were in high school mode...just in observing me (hahahaha whatever that means???)
I could tell life had negatively affected some. But for that moment...in that place...at that time... we were in high school again.
It's funny that although we went to The High School for Health Professions, only a few of us actually pursued the medical field. One who did actually delivered my son. That was a continuous joke. hahaha (how could you let him SEE you???, that would be too weird hahahaha) But we all took it in fun. Everyone knew he was one of the smartest kids in our class, so I have no regrets. Plus he has good bedside manner and it was nice knowing your needs would TOTALLY be met because you knew the doctor. :)
We had a nice "get-together" on Saturday. My friend Kenneth arranged it because he wanted something on the actual day, June 9th, that we graduated. Everyone who showed up, it seemed, went back into our high school mode of innocence before life got in the way. It was so refreshing to be around people who, as my friend Carla described it, just "got me."--no pretenses--no titles---no issues...just me. It was great! Lou (my hubby) told me he could tell we were in high school mode...just in observing me (hahahaha whatever that means???)
I could tell life had negatively affected some. But for that moment...in that place...at that time... we were in high school again.
It's funny that although we went to The High School for Health Professions, only a few of us actually pursued the medical field. One who did actually delivered my son. That was a continuous joke. hahaha (how could you let him SEE you???, that would be too weird hahahaha) But we all took it in fun. Everyone knew he was one of the smartest kids in our class, so I have no regrets. Plus he has good bedside manner and it was nice knowing your needs would TOTALLY be met because you knew the doctor. :)
11 May 2007
I've done it! I've become a part of the world of bloggers. Now if only I can discover how to reduce my photo...
Okay, now that I've created a blog, what do I talk about? hahaha I had so much deep stuff to discuss to begin my newfound blog status, but it's late and I'm tired. However, until I figure out how to minimize my face on the blog, HERE'S LOOKIN' AT YOU KID! hahaha I tend to be very conversational when I write. Is there a blog etiquette? Probably. I will use capital letters in my blog although I don't in my emails.
I promise I won't ramble once the newness of it all wears off...well, maybe I will a little, but it will be organized chaos.
Okay, now that I've created a blog, what do I talk about? hahaha I had so much deep stuff to discuss to begin my newfound blog status, but it's late and I'm tired. However, until I figure out how to minimize my face on the blog, HERE'S LOOKIN' AT YOU KID! hahaha I tend to be very conversational when I write. Is there a blog etiquette? Probably. I will use capital letters in my blog although I don't in my emails.
I promise I won't ramble once the newness of it all wears off...well, maybe I will a little, but it will be organized chaos.
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